Joke jokes
Ever heard of the show "Naked and Afraid"? That's what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?
It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.
One time, I broke up with my Roblox girlfriend by sending her a message. Thirty seconds later, I heard my uncle crying in the next room.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
What do you call your sister who only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
What did the letter A say to the letter B?
"Z" you later.
My father can take a joke because he made one.
My family chastises me for MY job, but you should hear how my family provides "customer service" at their jobs. My mother works as a social worker and answers the phone like, "DYFS, you beat em, we treat em." My grandmother is a Medical Examiner and she answers the phone like, "City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em." These bitches have no class! I'm an actress and studio secretary. When you call the studio, I answer the phone professionally like, "Good afternoon. IHOP, International House Of Pussy. Creampie Cassie speaking."
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.
If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?
So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.
I told her "I love you." She said, "I love me too."
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"