Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍
After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
Dad: I'm dying.
Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].
Dad: Really, now is not the time.
Son: I'm sorry.
Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
What’s the difference between your mum and your nan?
Your nan's a GILF!
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
I would post a joke, but maybe it's too deadpan.
Where's the best place to spawn camp at the hospital?
The maternity ward.
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
Why do orphans work boomerangs?
Because it's the only thing that comes back.
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
Um... (no idea what joke I should tell).
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A girl and her brother are walking in their garden. POV: Brother. Sister: "Why are you cutting those flowers?"
Brother: "Because they're beautiful!"
Sister: "I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't."
Brother:......
Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
Someone telling a joke:
Boy: "My parents are dead."
Girl: "My grandad is too."
Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"
Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"
If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?
An orange tree! :>
Think everyone who wrote these jokes are dead yet?
