Joke jokes

What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.

I would post a joke, but maybe it's too deadpan.

Where's the best place to spawn camp at the hospital?

The maternity ward.

Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.

Why do orphans work boomerangs?

Because it's the only thing that comes back.

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

Um... (no idea what joke I should tell).

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A girl and her brother are walking in their garden. POV: Brother. Sister: "Why are you cutting those flowers?"

Brother: "Because they're beautiful!"

Sister: "I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't."

Brother:......

Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?

Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.

Someone telling a joke:

Boy: "My parents are dead."

Girl: "My grandad is too."

Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"

Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"

If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?

An orange tree! :>

Think everyone who wrote these jokes are dead yet?

Ever heard of the show "Naked and Afraid"? That's what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."

What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.

What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.

What do you call a whore with a runny nose?

...Full!

What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?

Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.