Don't say your life is a joke because jokes have meaning.
Joke Jokes
I wish my hair was depressed.
Cause then it would cut itself.
When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.
When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
This is a Cuphead joke.
Why did the clown drive over the cup? Cuz he wanted to CRACK him up!
What's the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
What do you call an owl with armor?
A Knight Owl!
I asked a poor old woman if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. However, the expression on her face soon changed when I started walking away with her cardboard box.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
Because they needed someone to call "daddy".
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent’s signature.
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
Do you want to hear a joke?
Never mind, it’s too punny.
