Joke jokes
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
Why did the cheetah kill the lion? Because he farted.
I know my jokes suck.
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
*Aye, Matey!*
I see 6 letters in "the past."
I have 2020 vision.
I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
What do you call a Hippie's Wife? A Mississippi.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?
Daughter: *tooth hurty*
Dad: All right.
What did momma seal name her twin girls?
Luceal and Sealia.
Sometimes I just wake up in the morning, and think, "Well, better luck next time."