REALLY CRAPPY JOKE ALERT!!! Oh Quin, how was eating that tight butt? Must be nasty. I heard you met from rear ending him.
Joke Jokes
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
Little Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher said, "Okay, everyone, tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet." Johnny didn't know the alphabet, so he decided to ask his family. He walked into the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mama, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV, and he says, "Tommy, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman." So he went to his grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him, he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher comes to Johnny, she says, "Johnny, what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now," Johnny says. "Who do you think you are, young man, to talk to someone like me that way?" the teacher asks. "I'm Batman," Johnny says. The teacher whups his ass, and little Johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"
Later that day, he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse, that he accidentally cussed at his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.
What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.
Eggy joke for all to enjoy!
Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?
A: Udderly destroyed.
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree.
Too bad he left him hanging.
Why do orphans have water in their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"
I usually tell jokes about Kobe, but they usually crash and burn.
Why do you keep repeating the same joke?
What did the priest say to the Muslim? Wazza!
What do you call 6 gay men going to war?
Rainbow 6 Siege.
What, I am an autist..... Villads?
I kicked a soccer ball at a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Rocket League!"
What did the ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean? Answer: Nothing, they just waved.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not your dad?"
