Joke jokes
What is the difference between a white octopus and a white squid?
A white octopus isn't in the KKK!
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.
Why do orphans get offended by dark humor?
It doesn’t hit home.
Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind.
Knock knock Who’s there? Not Sally.
Why do orphans pray to God?
So they have someone to call father.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
What do you call a favorite joke that isn’t your favorite?
None fave. Foch heads.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
I don't even know why to joke about America, it's a joke itself TO THE FUCKING EARTH!
What do you call a fat girl with a rape alarm?
Optimistic.
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
MEOM!
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.
A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"