One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.
Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"
I couldn’t figure out why the football kept getting bigger... then it hit me!
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."
What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."
Dark jokes aren't funny... I can't see them at all.
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
POV: It's a rapists' groupchat, not a joke section. And it's SAD.
Anyone have lightskin jokes?
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
Why can't a T-Rex clap?
Because they're dead :/
Why couldn't the orphan have the bag of chips?
It was family size.
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"
The is the no the yes yes the no the.
Balls.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side.
My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.
Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?
I like big butts in the Kent, la la "hehehe" SUS.
