New Joke Jokes - Page 143 - Worst Jokes Ever

Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"

Kid: "A leopard."

Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."

Kid: "Broooooooooooo."

Why did my dad cross the road?

To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.

9/11 jokes are a bomb!

We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.

A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.

I just left him hanging.

A depressed kid gave me a high five. I left him hanging.

What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?

Nothing, they both fell.

How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.

What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?

I can't jump off a burrito.

If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!

All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.

How do you know the hooker killed herself?

She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.

Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!

I was going to post a Kobe Briant joke, but the site crashed.

"Would you like to play the rape game?"

"No wtf" she replied.

"That's the spirit!"

Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?

Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.

Bro, they almost forgot you in the abortion bucket.

I will never forget my grandpa's last words: "You still holding the ladder, son?"

Oooh, I fall apart. Oooh, yeah, mmhmm. She told me that I'm not enough, yeah, And she left me with a broken heart, yeah. She fooled me twice and it's all my fault, yeah. She cut too deep, now she left me scarred, yeah. Now there's too many thoughts goin' through my brain, yeah, And now I'm takin' these shots like it's Novocaine, yeah. Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought Never caught a feelin' this hard Harder than the liquor I pour Tell me you don't want me no more But I can't let go Everybody told me so Feelin' like I sold my soul Devil in the form of a whore Devil in the form of a whore You said it No, you said it No, you said it We'd be together Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought Ice keep pourin' and the drink keep flowin' Try to brush it off but it keep on goin' Covered in scars and I can't help showin' Whippin' in the foreign and the tears keep blowin' Ice keep droppin' and the drink keep flowin' Try to brush it off but it keep on goin' All these scars, can't help from showin' Whippin' in the foreign and the tears keep blowin', yeah Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought.