Joke jokes
Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?
A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.
Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
The snowballs.
What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like it can tell its parents.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is dangerous for kids if put on their face, the other one is used to carry groceries.
Q: What's the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A: Stoners have papers.
Q: What's really long and black?
A: The line at KFC.
The earth was once flat... until they buried your mom.
I pushed a dog into a fire and said, "Hot dog!"
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?
A: Give them a Happy Meal.
I tried to high-five my emo friend, but he just left me hanging.
What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?
The blue screen of death.
Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?
A: A cold shoulder.
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?
TIMMAHHHH!