A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
Joke Jokes
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.
4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.
What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.
An Irish guy walks out of a bar....
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."