If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
Joke Jokes
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
What did the 0 say to the 8?
"Nice belt."
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
Yo mama stops at the PokeStop... to buy a Big Mac.
Chuck Norris threw one Pokéball and caught 'em all.
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
What was the last thing going through the minds of the people who jumped out of the buildings during 9/11?
Their ankles.
What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.