Joke jokes
6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.
An Irish guy walks out of a bar....
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
What did the 0 say to the 8?
"Nice belt."
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.