Joke jokes

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.

Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!

Then: You want free candy?

Now: You want free Wi-Fi?

Why did Sally not save the mountain climber?

Because it was her dad.

There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.

*knock knock*

Who's there!

Not Sarah.

What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.

Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"

Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"

Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."

Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?

There is a small medium at large.

Have you ever been eight before?

You were between 7 and 9.

I fucked a Pokemon the other day. It is dead now.

What do you call a dictatorial cow?

Moosilini.

What do you call a black man on the moon?

An astronaut.

A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"

What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?

"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"

Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.

Why do people shake cigarette boxes?

To wake up the cancer.

I'm so gay I could barely think straight.

What shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.

"Koalafications" are irr-elephant.

What do you call Link when he is hurt?

A link to the cast.