How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
Joke Jokes
What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
I told a chemist a joke.
No reaction.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?
No more tears.
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
What's long, brown, and sticky?
A stick.
Your momma's so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
Woman jokes aren't funny, period.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"