Joke jokes
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.
4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.
What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.
An Irish guy walks out of a bar....
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
What did the 0 say to the 8?
"Nice belt."
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.