What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
Joke Jokes
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
What is a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game?
Before the first period.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was also dead.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first one.
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
What do you call a psychic dwarf on the run? A small medium at large.
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?
The Monkees and Gorillaz.
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.