Joke jokes
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?
"No."
He hasn't too.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Two pedophiles meet each other. Then one asks if he wanted to trade "2 of 5" for "1 of 10?"
"Can I tell you a paper joke?" I said, "But it is pretty terrible."
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter; he's not coming.
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."
Dead baby jokes never get old...
What was purple and conquered the world?
Alexander The Grape.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
Why is 1026 afraid of 1028?
Because 1028 1029.