John Jokes

What do you call a spanish toilet. Elton John

Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?

John: I don't know.

Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...

John F. Kennedy may rest in pieces

"Hey I heard you were a bit dow- where's John?" "He died" "oh I'm so sorry but I got you food " (after they eat) "Hey how did John taste seasoned and cooked.?"

“Your mother has been with us for 20 years,” said John. “Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?” “My mother?” replied Helen. “I thought she was your mother.”

Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head just because his wife Said he was close minded

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety

So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade. John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.

"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it they can sew it back on."

After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is", handing the ear to John.

"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it."

John pretended to be a doctor. Motu came to him. He said "I lost my hunger". John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said "Your hunger is back!" Then,Motu said "I lost my taste." John said "Number 1,bring some water." Motu drank it and said "This is petrol!" John said "Your taste is back!" Motu said "I lost my memory." John said "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said "But Number 1 brought water." John said "Your memory is back!"

What did John Cena say to Ray Charles? Hey, man.

What do Asians and John Cena have in common? You can't see me! LMAO

John took a bath with bubbles. Bubbles was a man.

Man: I'm here for the job interview Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews. Man: Just anywhere? Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right? Man: Yeah that's me. (Shakes hands and sits back down) Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson? Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. it really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir. Employer: I like you already, you're hired! Man: Wow thanks, sir. I know i won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job! Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy. Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade? Employer: No. Man: This... This is a photography job right? Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.