Forehead

Lewis Borthwick

I was staying over at my friends, for the purpose of the joke he shall be called kian. It was 03.00 am and everyone else was asleep when i heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it, Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge it was thought he had a huge slong. The banging was getting louder and so to was my heartbeat, i opened John’s door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked, there was a glory hole threw the wall where i could make it kians ass. This is what i have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards john. I shoved 1 inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, “you little gimp get on the bed”. Kian came in the room with a 2 litre bottle of irn bru, he demanded “what the fudge are you doing”. I replied smoothly "Kian you tracksuit warrior you have a camel toe" Kian fires back “shut it paul you have genital warts”. John screams "SHUT THE FUCK UP." He then gives us it so rough i can’t walk the next day, but feel pleasured for eternity.

By Lewis

3

Legs

BBG

What did John say after someone shot his leg-

Oof

Eating

Anonymous

What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?

Long John Silvers or Captain D

Jakes

Anonymous

John: Whats 9+10? Jake:21

Doctor

Anonymous

Doctor: tomorrow is like John cena, you won’t see it

Common

Anonymous

What do Asians and John Cena have in common? You can’t see me! LMAO

Forehead

Anonymous

I entered kians house, at the top of the stair i was greeted my greatest fantasy, JOHN, he said in a manly tone, “hello there” i walked slowly up the stairs and greeted him back, as i walk past his room i felt uneasy , i walk into kians room to find no one, i turn around and gasp, john is standing there, a bulge had appeared and poked me as he got nearer, he pushed me onto kians bed, the bed was that bad it broke as i fell onto it, john says “a broken is nothing to worry about” i look up at him in disbelief, hes more masculine than i thought, he thrust himself onto me, his crotch area sticky to the touch, he then ripped a fart as he bent over, at this point i knew it was to late john, the fart he ripped(sticky to the touch) had me so in shock i wasnt ready for what was next, he picked and jamp on my head ripping the most monstrous, enormous, deadyl, sticky to the touch fart id ever seen, it knocked me out, i awoke to find i was in the WALLS, i looked out to find i was in the glory hole, my worst nightmare had become reality, i fully understood my purpose in life was to the holy glory hole, i heard “GRANDAD CAN I GET SOME V-BUCK” i then knew i was in for some kian treats The end

Helium

Anonymous

Hey john, how are you going? Helium, yeah good what about you? (Hey Liam)

John

Anonymous

YOU WANT TO HERE A JOKE Your MoM

Funny

mandem sam 43

john toberty is not funny

School

LIL JONHS DAD

WHOS LIL JOHN

Little John

andres

little john she is fat how and he say like a pig

Politics

IM Racist

Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington? John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.

Bar

Anonymous

A hitman walks into a bar and tells the bartender I m here to assassinate John Tucker. The bartender replies he’s in the restroom. The hit man goes inside the restroom and comes out after 1 hour. The bartender asks him did u kill him? The hitman replies with a sad face “I asked him any last wishes and the guy asked me to allow him to finish his shit as he is half way in passing his stools so I gave him my word that I would wait and so I waited for an hour and when I asked him what’s taking him so long he says he will not be able to finish because he is just getting started”.

Sadness

Anonymous

Why were people sad when john f kennedy got shot? All he got was head

Son

Anonymous

Mom: I saw John Cena at wwe

Son: no way you can’t see him though

Mom: god

Son: what

Mom: you watch too much reality TV comes to smack butt

Son: also because I’m John Cena

Mom: whe where’d ya go

John Cena: hey mom

Mom: I’m only 31 your 42

Alzheimers

Stolen From Reddit

“Knock Knock”

“Who’s there?”

“John.”

“John who?”

John broke down into tears as his Mother’s Alzheimer’s had gotten progressively worse.