John jokes
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.
And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
Man: I'm here for the job interview.
Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.
Man: Just anywhere?
Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?
Man: Yeah, that's me.
(Shakes hands and sits back down)
Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?
Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.
Employer: I like you already, you're hired!
Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!
Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.
Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?
Employer: No.
Man: This... This is a photography job, right?
Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
What did John say to little Timmy? Happy Disable day!
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?
Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".
Badminton: Your breath is so bad that you have to take a mint before you go on Fortnite.
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."
Mom: "No?"
"Like in heaven?" said the mother.
"No, juice," Sally said.
What's the difference between Elton John and rapboat?
Elton is talented, rich, and openly gay. Rapboat got fuck all talent, no money, and is not out of the closet yet.
Your forehead is so big, John Cena could wrestle on it.
I love you, Hebrew John.
What do Asians and John Cena have in common? You can't see me!
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"