it's jokes

Bust it open for Jesus!

I was kissing my gal when the phone rang. I answered it, and it was a prank. I walked into the room when my girl had sex with me. Then we cummed the house full XD

PS free sex at my name

My friend made a joke about a dog. I said it was a "RUFF" joke.

Once, there was a brother and a sister that shared a YouTube channel. He named it "Penis Dick Marathon."

My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?

It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.

Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

Treon: How did you find that?!

Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

Treon: We can't!

Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

Jacob Wheet, if you don't understand, look it up.

I was wearing a mask and told the teacher I ate her vagina. She said what? I pulled my mask down and said, "No, I said I like your hyenas." Then a kid sees me do it, but he only heard the first part, so he goes up to the teach and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight." She said, "Pull your mask down," and he pulls his mask down and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight."

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.

My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."

People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!

A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"

Q: What's the best way to eat a squirrel?

A: Open up its little legs.

What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?

A miscarriage.

My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!

I’m back and have a joke my friend said!

Person 1: My brother's Halloween costume is so ugly.

Person 2: What was it?

Person 1: He went as himself.

It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me.

What would a tree do if a depressed kid tried to high five it?

I would leave them hanging.

Why can't you go home tonight? Because you haven't got a home, it's moved.

Why did Monaco cross the road? It smashed a 1-mile radius of the road + the chicken.

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't "peeling" well!

If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.