it's jokes
Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
Helen Keller def faked it.
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."
My peepee was big, now it's small.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
Why did the rock not risk going to the other side of the road?
It's a damn rock, mate. It's not gonna walk!
Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"
A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.
IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”
What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?
If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.
I made a website on orphans, sadly it didn't have a homepage.
Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.
I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!
Why did Naruto stop trying to get at Sakura?
Why?
Because it would be useless. :)
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.