it's jokes

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What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?

The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.

Why did the bike fall over?

Because it was two tired.

Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.

One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!

You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.

Why did the toilet paper get to the bottom of the hill?

Because he went down the drain! - it's a bad joke, lmao.

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

If you're bored, just punch an orphan. It's not like they can tell their parents.

Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!

Why can’t the orphan play baseball?

It can’t find home.

How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.

If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.

What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...

Carrots?

Have you seen the Justin meme?

Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?

Just-in time for deez nuts.

Bruh.

But actually, it's a parody.

Wait, actually?

Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

What do you call it when an Astartes cum's... torrential downfall?

So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.

He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"

The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."

The person says: "What's a dilo?"

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.