it's jokes

Nothing is lost until Mom can't find it.

If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.

If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

I don't want to brag, I finished the puzzle in under a week, and it said 2-4 years on the box.

I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.

If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.

Bro, I gotta tell you a joke.

Nevermind, it's too cheesy!

Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.

I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

Why did the cookie cry?

Because its mom was a wafer too long!

"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad?

Stab it twenty-three times.

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

If I slap an orphan, what will it do, tell its parents? 🤣😂🤣😂

Yo mama is so retarded, they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!

There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?

Home Depot.

I don't have a joke, it's just funny reading them.

My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."