it's jokes
Your hairline is so far back it makes me look like Shaq O'Neal.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?
Because Paul Walker crashed into it.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
Is Google a male or female?
Female because it doesn’t let you finish your sentences before making a suggestion.
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
Why can't orphans work at S.C Johnson?
Because it is a family company. 😂 😂
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
A boy's hairline is always in the back of his head, and its shape is like a check mark.
Your forehead is so big that it said, "To be continued."
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
You will never see a redneck opposing a war.
He will instead say, "Wait, I get to kill people and it's not illegal? And they're foreigners?"
Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.
What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?
A pool table.
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it.
Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.