it's jokes

What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?

Alien vs Predator.

A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.

After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.

"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.

"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.

"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.

The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.

"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.

"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.

"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.

"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.

The woman's body is shaped like a penis. If see a naked female body bent over, her butt looks like testicles, while her head can be seen as the head of a penis.

This is the same if she lies down right side up with her knees up and legs spread. If she lays upside down with her knees up and legs spread, her boobs are like testicles and her pelvic area is like the head of a penis. If you look at the shape of a vagina, it’s shaped like a penis with the lips looking like testicles and the clit looks like the schlong.

People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

I am like Cookie Monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.

Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.

Your hairline is so bad that the queen died when looking at it!

When an orphan takes a family photo, it's called a selfie.

Yo momma so dumb, the doctor wanted to give her a blood transfusion but she said no because she thought it would turn her trans.

I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.

The twin towers were just tryna take after the leaning tower of Pisa, but they lost their balance and fucked it up.

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.

What do you call it when you sell Panera Bread in your shed?

Panera Shed.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

I have an EpiPen.

My friend gave it to me when he was dying.

It seemed really important to him that I have it.

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

Comment anything if you liked the picture of Kenya in her bra!

Hint: It was a red bra with pink strips! And it said, "I love everyone!"

#she is sex*

My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.