it's jokes
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. It just "waved!"
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!
Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
Doctor, what is wrong with me?
You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.
I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time!
When an orphan takes a family photo, it's called a selfie.
Wow, you did 10 chin-ups? Was it 1 for each chin?
It's all fun and games until they start dancing.
When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
If a depressed kid tries to high five a tree, it leaves them hanging.
If you hit an Indian person on the forehead with a dart, is it considered a bullseye?
I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.