it's jokes
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?
Panera bloodshed.
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.
They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.