it's jokes

Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...

WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!

Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?

I must have at least 87 years of bad luck; every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!

What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?

A pickle.

Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on the internet, it will take a day to send!

What did the owl that's a detective say?

"Hoo did it?"

I once read a book on antigravity, it was impossible to put down.

Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she'll let it go!

What is it called when 21 Savage and 6ix9ine fight: Alien vs. Predator?

I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but it eventually came back to me.

I had a joke about pizza, it's just too cheesy.

Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!

Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.

Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!

I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.

I told a cookie a joke the other day.

It just crumbled.

Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?

Because it was a Rogue One!