it's jokes
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.
Do depressed people hate swimming?
They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
I didn't ask: ❌
I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that anyone needed this information, and there doesn't seem to be any chance anyone will need this information in the future. ✔️
Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?
Because it was over 18 years old.
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
Random couple after their first night:
Husband: It was very tasty. 🥵
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: Does anyone had taste it before?
Wife: ☠️
Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!
Your hairline [is] so bad it went down like the Twin Towers.
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
Your hairline is so far back that even Hitler wouldn't shoot it.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9 and 11.
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.