Palpatine jokes

Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?

Palpatine: Brew it!

Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?

Palpatine: Screw it.

Stormtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader's son.

Palpatine: Knew it.

Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?

Palpatine: Renew it!

Stormtrooper: What should I do with this guide for my test?

Palpatine: Review it.

Stormtrooper: What happened with your garden?

Palpatine: Grew it.

Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?

Stole his slogan, just do it!

Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?

Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."

Stormtrooper: What happened to the Jedi Order?

Palpatine: Slew it!

Stormtrooper: My lord, what should we do with all this beef?

Palpatine: Stew it.

Imperial Pilot: What do you think about the new Tie fighter?

Palpatine: Flew it.

You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"

You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."

JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.

Q. What do you call a Mexican Jedi?

A. a PadaJuan.

Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?

He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.