it's jokes

People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.

Dark humor is like water. Some people get it, some people don't.

Bully: "Nobody loves you."

Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."

All these jokes are so offensive, Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?

You tell them it's a leap of faith.

You call it a tragedy. I call it a 25 killstreak.

Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."

Why can't blind people eat fish?

Because it's sea food.

It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.

I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.

You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a Shitzu.

One day, an orphan threw a boomerang, and it didn’t come back like its parents.

Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.

Why can't a t-rex clap?

Because it's dead.

Last night I burned down an orphanage.

There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"

God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.

It was tense.

I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.