it's jokes

You call it a tragedy. I call it a 25 killstreak.

People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.

Bully: "Nobody loves you."

Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?

You tell them it's a leap of faith.

A black man entered a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender says, "That looks exotic, where’d you get it?"

"Africa," the parrot responded.

Why can't blind people eat fish?

Because it's sea food.

Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."

I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.

I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.

You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.

It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a Shitzu.

Why did the picture go to jail?

Cause it was framed!

One day, an orphan threw a boomerang, and it didn’t come back like its parents.

Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.

What is a reversed exorcism?

It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.

Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."

Why can't a t-rex clap?

Because it's dead.

What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"