it's jokes
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You a dumb a** b*tch, We all know it's true.
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.
Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"
And I said: "They're the exact same thing."
Then they said: "But when did it happen?"
So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
On one hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
Why wasn’t the cheese 🧀 happy?
It was blue 😔.
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?
When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, or lose it forever.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
I hope Death is a woman.
That way, it will never come for me.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but it came plain.
So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."
And her mom said, "WHAT?!"
And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"
Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."