it's jokes
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, or lose it forever.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.
A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?
Because it said, "Focus."
What did the person with no hands get for Christmas?
He didn't open it yet.
Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?
So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.
It's been 2 years since I've been on this. Hello, guys!