it's jokes

One day, the Pope is coming to America in his limo, and he said to the driver, "Why don’t you let me drive for once?"

The driver thinks to himself, "Well, I can’t say no to this guy; he’s the Pope." So the driver pulls over, and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while, the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "Slow down a bit; you might get pulled over."

The Pope says, "Ahhh, don’t worry about it; I’m the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments, he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car, and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"

The Pope says, "Sure." The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "Guys, I just pulled over someone really important."

They ask who, "The President?"

"No, more important."

"The president of another country?"

"No, more important."

"An ambassador?"

"No, even more important."

"Well, who is it?"

"I don’t know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."

How does Moses brew his coffee?

He brews it.

What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?

Answer: fire.

Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?

It's the next thing they blow up.

Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?

Because they just keep getting harder and harder!

Why is Europe like a frying pan?

Because it has Greece at the bottom.

Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"

Person 2: "What is it?"

Person 1: "Plagiarism!"

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

Your hairline is so far back even The Rock Johnson couldn't find it.

Once a bird went to search for food. Then suddenly he saw grain on a road. When he saw a bullock cart, he said, "That's too far away." Then the bullock immediately came, and the king bird came, and the deceitful bird said, "Sorry, Majesty, I was wrong to eat this on the road." And then he died, and the king bird goes back and tells everybody about it.

I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.

If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"

Why did the skeleton never get cold? Because it went right through him!

Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?

It's always someone you know.

This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?

Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!

"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."

Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.

Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?

Because it had no home button.

What is a donkey called when it has a hole on itself?

An ASSHole.

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