it's jokes

Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?

A: Because it was on crack.

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"

What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...

It don't moan when u put milk inside.

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

Why was the skeleton sad at the dance?

Because it had "no body" to go with.

I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.

My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.

So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D

Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"

While writing my suicide note, I got a paper cut... it’s a start.

I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.

If it is called a forehead, what happened to the five-head, six-head, and seven-head?

I was kissing my gal when the phone rang. I answered it, and it was a prank. I walked into the room when my girl had sex with me. Then we cummed the house full XD

PS free sex at my name

How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?

Pick it up and suck its dick.

Wanna hear a pizza joke?

Ah, never mind, it's too cheesy.

I was watching Avengers and I thought I saw a grape, but it was just Thanos.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple can trace back its family tree.

Your head is so big, it looks like traffic is able to fit on it!

I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.

Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?

Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.

What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?

We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.