it's jokes
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.
Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.
I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
I was about to say an African joke, but it was too dry.
Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?
A: Because it was too tired!! 😴😴😴
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
Other person: Yes.
Sorry, I'm still working on it! 😅
I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN.
Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?
It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.
An orphan's favorite toy is a boomerang. It comes back to them, unlike their parents.
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
I gave a blind kid a pistol and said it was a hairdryer.
Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?
That's what happened to my dog.
On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Super Power Beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage whatsoever. He walks back into the bar.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof — and falls 15 stories to the ground.
Splat.
The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”
My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.