it's jokes
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.
When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 53, 'cause my basement's still dark.
Dark humor is just like water,
some people get it, some people don't.
A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.
The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me.
The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment.
With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.
Home Covid Test.
1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.
2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.
3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.
Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.
I am so nervous.
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.
The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
I would make a rape joke, but I'd have to force it down your throat.
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
You nail its other hand to the ground.
Why can't orphans work at S.C Johnson?
Because it is a family company. 😂 😂