it's jokes
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.
Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.
I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
I was about to say an African joke, but it was too dry.
I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.
I am reading a horror book in braille.
Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
Other person: Yes.
Sorry, I'm still working on it! 😅
Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?
A: Because it was too tired!! 😴😴😴
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
Now why was 10 afraid? Because it was in the middle of 9-11.
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?
It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
I gave a blind kid a pistol and said it was a hairdryer.
An orphan's favorite toy is a boomerang. It comes back to them, unlike their parents.
On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?
Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.