it's jokes
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
Why is Trump bad with America? Because he made it scream.
Why did the chicken enter the cave?
Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What do ambulances and gay men have in common? They both take it in the back and go whoop whoop! :D
Ever heard of the band "Nothing but Thieves"?
Yeah, it's called RobberBand.
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
How do you boil holy water?... You boil the hell out of it!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.
How is spinach like anal sex? If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It doesn't matter, he's dead.
If a king farts, is it a noble gas?
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Shin-gles!
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!