it's jokes

Band

  • Ever heard of the band "Nothing but Thieves"?

    Yeah, it's called RobberBand.

    Zoo

  • I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).

  • 3
  • Giraffe

  • A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.

    After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.

    The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"

    The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

  • 1
  • Baby

  • How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

    Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.

  • 0
  • Anal Sex

  • How is spinach like anal sex?

    If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.

  • 1
  • Baby

  • What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?

    The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.

  • 8
  • Masturbation

  • I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"

  • 4
  • Baby

  • How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?

    I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate...

  • 1