it's jokes
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.
Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
I love the smell of my F5 key. It's very refreshing.
I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.
I now have $999,999.75.
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
Because it was Luke warm.
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. -- Then the librarian told me to take it out.
English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.
How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?
Take a flute and shove it up your ass.
If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
It's a complex complex complex.
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.