it's jokes
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
Yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out, it got rug burn.
Officer sees a man and he is seeing he is having trouble walking, so he asked him, "Sir, are you drunk?" The man responds, "No, sir, I'm not drunk." So the officer asks, "How high are you?" And the man responds, "No sir, it's 'Hi, how are you?'"
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
Why did the Mafia cross the road?
Forget about it...
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
Read this word:
Heroine.
Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
Why do people with Down syndrome always look funny?
It’s their funny face.
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
Me: It smells like good fam.
Friend: What's good fam?
Me: Nothing much, what about you fam?
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."
How did the skeleton know it was about to rain?
"Because he felt it in his bones?"
No,
He read the weather app, you idiot.