it's jokes
I lost all faith in humanity. I am moving to Uranus; it's really big. I might get lost.
It's punny.
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
Why is the sun lit?
Because it has much solar.
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
I was watching T-Series and I thought to myself, "Man, this sucks!" My sister watches James Charles, and he always says, "That's T-Series." So is it him? SUB TO PEWDIEPIE! UNSUB TO T-SERIES! THEY SUCK!
Why was the Burnside Bridge so hot?
Because it's on the burning side.
Want to hear a joke about milk? No, it's too cheesy.
Why did Sellwood get named?
It is made of wood that got sold.
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.
Son: Where's grandma?
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
Once I heard a joke about chocolate. It wasn't that funny, so I just Snickered.
Once I heard a joke about chocolate the other day.
It wasn't that funny.
So I just Snickered.
"You gave me the same sweater as last year."
"You s w e a t e r believe it."
SPOILER ALERT...
I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.