it's jokes
What do you call a cow with stuff growing on it? Moscow.
Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
I made a website for orphans.
It has no home page.
How does Moses make his cup of tea?
He brews it.
Why can’t you fool an aborted baby? Because it wasn’t born yesterday...
Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday. 🤭
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
The clock struck one!
Then down did come!
Hickory dickory doc
What am I?
Random- a mouse?
Me- no dumb shit!
Random- what is it?
Me- the guillotine!
- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?
- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
My sister got mad when I told her to say this word 10 times, and she got in trouble, and it was a funny word that she did not even know what she was saying, ahhahaha! 😆 lol
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
What's better than sex with your 12 year old sister?
Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck it off...