it's jokes

I've got not much of anything to be honest.

Been in special classes in school.

Not liked by people.

Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.

31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.

Not very smart.

Don't look good.

Hate myself more than anything.

Been a failure at everything in life.

Probably be alone forever.

People treat me like crap.

Can't do anything right.

And the list goes on and on.

So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.

People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.

How sad and pathetic is it that all you wait for after you finish a suicidal joke is for people to like your joke, but you know you'll just be a failure at that as well?

What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.

What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.

Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).

1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.

3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.

4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.

5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."

7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.

It's all fun and games until someone fails at becoming Superman.

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

I've sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there's no space on their training program.

The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.

I have a joke about lazy people!

Actually... forget it... it won't work.

I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.

Why can’t orphans work at SC Johnson?

Because it’s a family company.

Yo mama so fat that when she sat on an AirPod Pro, she turned it into an iPad!

Why did the orphan jump into the burning building?

It was too cold because they did not have a home.

What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?

OH it's a bitch.

I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.

Who were the people that survived 9/11?

The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.

She blew on it, and it went hard.

Why did the orphan try to fly? It was trying to find its parents.

Don’t cut yourself up about it.