it's jokes

Idiot

233 views ·

Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?

  • 3
  • Psychic

    7 views ·

    Went to see a psychic the other day.

    I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"

    So I turned around and left.

    Covid

    322 views ·

    My brother caught Covid last month.

    First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"

    I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

    Condom

    27 views ·

    Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.

    Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"

    Facebook status

    I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."

    Ad

    14 views ·

    Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.

    Orphan

    1 view ·

    Why can't orphans become famous?

    Because it will become easier for Technoblade to track them down.

    Vagina

    332 views ·

    So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.

    Roast

    59 views ·

    1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.

    2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.

    3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.

    4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.

    5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

    6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.

    7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.

    8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.

    9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.

    10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?

    11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.

    12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.

    Hooker

    5 views ·

    This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"