it's jokes
Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
Every Cobra Kai joke that was made, it's just me.
Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.
So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...
When an orphan takes a selfie, it's a family photo.
9/11 was pretty great to me, it's just hilarious to watch people lose at Jenga.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it always comes back.
Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?
Because it always cheated.
Why can't orphans go to Costco?
Because it's a family shop.
Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?
They never had parents to protect them from it.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who made it to the floor first?
The leaf. The emo kid was caught on a rope.
The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"
It would have been better if Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream.
You know, for his sake.
My wife said she wanted to leave me. She said it’s because of the abuse, but really, she’s the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got poisoning the next day. This shows almost half of the woman’s population is weak both physically and mentally.