it's jokes
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
Helen Keller def faked it.
You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
One day an orphan threw a boomerang. It's not the only thing that didn't come back.
Why is it okay to hit orphans?
It's not like they can tell their parents.
Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
Q: Why did the math book look so sad?
A: Because of all its problems.
Hey guys, so we have a friend group and we need followers and people! So far it's me and Royal. If you want to join just comment why and you're in unless people have reasons to not want you!
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
What did Trump say to Ukraine when Putin bombed them?
"It was Antifa!!!! And China!!!!"
Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?
Me: Look at the stars in the sky.
Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?
Me: No, it’s a waste of time.
Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.
Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.
What did the cupcake tell its frosting?
I’d be muffin without you.
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Kid 2: Why?
Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.
Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.