it's jokes
Person: My left ear is ringing.
Friend: Then answer it!
This person ( :I ) It wasn't meant to be a joke; it was just to make space like your mother's ass in space because it's so big.
"G.I. Jane 2, can't wait to see it!"
Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.
I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.
My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.
Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.
I named my grass emo, and it cut itself.
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?
Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.
For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
Yesterday I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home.
Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
Why did the emo kid hate the tree?
It left him hanging.
Why do orphans like water?
Cuz they drink it ;)
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...