IT jokes
Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.
It's still printing.
I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
You wanna hear a joke? It's YOU.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bone."
"Bone who?"
"It's nice to meet cha'. Can we be friends? I'm bone-ly here."
I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.
What is the healthiest fruit?
An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.
I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is blocking the door!
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!