IT jokes

What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?

Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.

Chuck Norris trained Dude Perfect how to do it.

Why was the baby ant confused?

Because its uncles were all aunts!

Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.

Why do orphans get iPhones 11?

Because it has no home page.

Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels are parked out front.

Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.

Normally I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it’s two plane.

Your hairline is so far back it became a case.

Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.

I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.

One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.

What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad.

(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)

Your forehead is so big, I could land a jet plane on it.

I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.

Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.

Teacher: Who?

Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!

If you're a simp, just remember, it means "Suckers Idolizing Mediocre Pussy."

Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!

What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!

Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?

A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"

Why is the cheetah so fast?

Because it can't walk slow.