IT jokes

How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?

It’s all Depends!

You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.

I spat on a blind kid and told him it was raining.

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?

My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.

What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture.

What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?

“Is It In?”

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? One, you just need to throw it hard enough.

What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?

Catching it with a pitchfork.

My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."

The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."

Don’t fart in an Apple Store.

It has no Windows.

Why did the dead baby cross the road?

It was strapped to the chicken.

I wish my grass was edgy...

then it would cut itself...

My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.

I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but I can't seem to build on it.

What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?

America’s Funniest Home Videos.

(lol)

What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?

A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

I have an announcement, Shadow the Hedgehog is a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife and he said he dick was this big and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com. Shadow, u got a small dick it looks like this walnut except way smaller.