IT jokes
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
I ordered a pizza with everything on it, but I got a plain pizza.
Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
What do you call it when school starts in Africa?
Black to school.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
An emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book. She said no because you won't bring it back.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had diarrhea.
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
You are able to travel to the anime world, believe me, Michael Jackson did it.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War