IT jokes
symple: Why did you include me in this fuckery?
symple: And why the fuck am I the profile picture?
angela: Because you are the thot of the group.
symple: Well it takes one to know one.
symple: Aren't Thot jokes just "whore'able?"
angela: FUCK OFF!
Do you want to hear a joke about the blunt pencil? Never mind, it's pointless.
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
I'll never forget my sister's last words. "Is it edible?"
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
What happens when a pun isn’t funny?
It gets PUNished.
An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.
The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."
The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."
I wonder why the plane got bigger and bigger, then it hit me.
When it's been Halloween for a few months, but there's still a body hanging from your neighbor's tree.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.
What time should you go to bed when it's bedtime?
My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam.
That being said I wish he hadn't!
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.