Interviewer jokes

Ideology

  • Is it far enough? We publish interviews with people who know a lot about real wars.

    Peace: On one case, that's true, but violence is the slogan for it.

    Socialism: Yes, morning and evening. So the Sorce Streftator's work must be stopped!

    Maoist: Yes, I like Walken Engspert.

    Anarchist: Claire, this is why we don't need democracy, I'm Das Zoe Melsen.

    Capitalism: Yes, but the truth is that he is ignorant and cannot be considered as an old leader, but as an employee.

    Governor: Yes, but a strong left should be as strong as Minister Janomen Vardan or Director Januso Gavrelic.

    Patriots: Are there simple megalithic laws?

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  • Dude

  • A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."

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  • Criminal Record

  • The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.

    I replied, "No. Is that still required?"

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  • Weakness

  • Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

    Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.

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  • Honesty

  • Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"

    "Honesty."

    "I don't think honesty is a weakness."

    "I don't give a fuck what you think."

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  • Interview

  • (BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)

    MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?

    BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!

    MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?

    BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!

    MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?

    BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.

    MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.

    BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!

    (MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)

    MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!

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  • Mirror

  • At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

    I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”

    Job Interview

  • I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

    "Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"

    Job

  • I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

    "Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

    The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭

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  • Mom

  • My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.

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  • Name

  • I went to an interview and my future boss said, "Hi, my name is Watt Niseto, meet you."

    Then said, "WHAT IS UR NAME?" He then said,

    "What is not my name, Watt is." So I replied, "Ugh fine, I guess I'll call you Wha." Then he said, "Wha I not my name."

    And then I said, "Ugh fine, my name is Will Knott." He then replied, "Hi Will Not."

    Orphan

  • I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.

    Oh, I just love talking to orphans.

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  • Johnny Depp

  • Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."

    Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.

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