Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
So you get a new job, and here something about this guy named mike, The next day you go into the office and mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and Rainbows and stuff, then, a co-worker comes up and says "No one told you mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY *clap clap clap clap*".
The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"
Me: It smells like good fam.
Friend: What's good fam?
Me: Nothing much, what about you fam?
A joker held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice gesture.
Christopher Columbus:*Sees native americans* Can i see your land Native amercians:sure just be care.......... Christopher Columbus:Boonk gang whole lot of gang shit
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
Wanna hear a joke?
Yeah.
...
What's the joke?
I said it already!
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
a girl comes home finds her dad and 4 year old brother on the sofa she says dad why is he wearing that face mask the dad buckles his belt and says theirs more for you hunny
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
I have fun goin on dem roller coasters that go really high up and sittin by random people and once we get to the high point I look at the stranger and go wham and unplug they seat bealt
I hate two-faced people because I don't know which face to slap first.
