What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
Instrument Jokes
Q. What's the most musical bone?
A. The trom-bone!
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
Q. What makes music on your hair?
A. A headband!
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.
One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? A small skin flute.
What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
Why are drums and autistic people the same?
They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.
I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.
So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
Q: What do you use on your tuba when it breaks?
A: Tuba-glue.
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
Why was the piano waiting at the front door?
Because it forgot which key to use!
